Male Order Housekeeper Guide???

So something else that has been bothering me for a while is the whole "lack of males" phenomenon. Prior to me getting bent out of shape, I believe that this is some bullshit. AND what I mean by bullshit, I mean that there are men EVERYWHERE, who are looking for someone to complete them, just like females. But due to a strict checklist, many females are missing out (and males too-some of yaw are more so matriculate than we are...SMH). ANYWHO, I digress. Let me share a story with you...

So I went on a date about a week ago. It was OK. He was younger , and the volume of calls, text messages, etc. got on my last damn nerve. I explained to him it was not necessary and that he needs to lay off. Within that date, he asked the QUESTION to why I am single (as if its not a choice anymore or some shit). I tell him and he then says "OK lets date now". I not only told him hell to the naw (in my Whitney Crackhead Stance), but that he REALLY NEEDS TO CHILL OUT. Since then, I have had to inform him in a stern-like tone that he is not my boo and needs to chill the fuck out. I apologize  in advance for so many curse words, but flashbacks get me annoyed....This leads me to my point...

I have no issues meeting different men. As a plus size, African American (and some other ish) in Seattle, WA, I get approached by ALL TYPES OF MEN. They might not be what I'm looking for, but hey, noting wrong with friends associates in high and low places right (I make that emphasis cause everyone tends to believe that its one issue or another...shit try smiling)? I believe that too many of us (and I mean females, Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Asians, all of yaw) that are dismissing some men due to looks alone. Granted, these men need be attractive just a lil bit, but many are scared of what their fam and friends will say. It took me a while, but it shocks the hell of my friends and associates when I tell them I have been almost all over the color spectrum. I have to try something once, then again to see if I really like it... (insider). ANYWHO, I think as women (and some men), we are so caught up on finding "Mr./Mrs. Checklist" that we forget we are not perfect, and that sometimes what we think we want, is not what is good for us. It feels good at first, but its that newness that Eric Robertson sings about...

Well it?s called the newness, but you already knew this

Don?t hear me rhyme but I just had dilute this

Man it?s the lovin, she sittin? at the oven,
Makin me some waffles, she tryin to get the title
More than likely, she?ll probably be wifey
If she gotta have it & hell, I?m Spike Lee
And I?m there nightly I?m her midnight marauder
Matter of fact got a text, just said to call her
If I had the money man I would just spoil her
So I give her kisses and, treat her like the missus man
Take her out on the night town do the runnin man
Kid n play, do the wop, til all the music stop
Go off to IHOP, talk in the parking lot
Oh here come the cops tellin us to scram
Damn, I just grab her hand, let?s go
Here we go, DMC and this litte fan
And the band?s in the van, we on the road again
And oh man I was bout to finish up the story
Chick got me more whipped than Denzel in Glory
Brett called me up like ?Yo, yo girl is on Maury? (huh?)
Guess it?s poor me, guess it?s poor me
Guess it?s poor me, til the newness comes

Anywho I digress. Yaw get what I'm saying. Too many folks trying to jump that broom, and ain't even swept under the rug. What happened to just dating? Is it such a big deal to have "ownership" of someone just to say that shit? I can tell you, besides youngin mentioned above, I have had 4 others act that way and ain't even seen the platinum stuff. So I know that its not necessarily impossible. I read an article from an author I can't think of right now cause I'm still intoxicated (hell its Saturday, can I breathe). And she suggested just dating everyone you feel comfortable with-or at least going on one date with someone you feel is sane and you have enough ammo  pepper spray for. You learn what you like and don't like, etc. It can be an awarding experience for you as well. But enough about me, have you had same experiences? Is there something you desire in a mate that isn't being displayed in today's world? SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!!! And happy Memorial Day Weekend to my fellow vets. Everyone else, send me a plate of food OK?

FEAR.. Forgetting Everything Anyone Revised

So first off... I know I have a few people who are gonna curse me the hell out for taking so long. I apologize. For I don't have a down packed schedule of posts. And after June 13th, shits gonna be real (start of grad school-so NOT excited). Anywho, I want to cover this first because this is something I have been dealing with for all my life, and its not at a normal percentage.

I have a fear of failure... many people might say that many people have that same fear, but its so serious at times, I don't go to sleep for days. Or at least get maybe two to three hours of sleep (I don't like taking my anxiety pills). I guess its because I have seen certain members of my family become dependent on others and I vowed that I will never be that way. Which probably explains my current relationship situation stats, etc. That's for another post. Anywho, moving on...

When I was younger, I was staying at my aunts house due to some family issues. But when I seen how she became more than what her environment programmed her to be. I was inspired. I never told anyone this, but I think this is what truly lead me to go to the Navy, and to get the hell away from Milwaukee at the time. I wanted the big house, the nice luxury car prior to 40, etc. I created a "to do before God takes me out" list and the following was my top priorities:

1. Become a Cheerleader by Sophomore year of HS
2. Graduate from college
3. Join a sorority
4. Become part of the government
5. Own a luxury foreign made car prior to 30

Most of these objectives have been met, and I guess I am becoming worried that the last one (not in numerical order BTW) will not be fulfilled due to eff ups changes in the economy and my current job position. But that's besides the point. I have a chance to finish my graduate degree early (mind you, I never thought about graduate school till just recently). But I'm scared or rather have a great deal of FEAR because of what I will be giving up (MY JOB). I did this whole life changing ish before when I left the military. And I will be honest and say I am happy with my choice, but that was in 2008 and the job market was STABLE. I would have to re-locate, go somewhere close to home but so far away, make new friends, etc. Its crazy, cause if I got a job overseas or to Washington D.C. (my ultimate destination), I would act like Pookie off of Menace 2 Society and sell EVERYTHING and go ( at least I think its Menace 2 society, I'm sipping my McDonald's Strawberry Lemonade w/ 100 proof Belviedere vodka, so I might be a lil messy with grammar, memories--and shit). But its because I will be doing something totally 360°, I am scared of the unknown I suppose. I don't want to be like the typical student (no offense) that can't get a job or not smart enough to finish, etc. I never want to have to have anyone help me. Although I give no afterthought to help those around me. I guess I figure I have always been the strong one and I am not suppose to have FEAR in my life. And it couldn't be any more of the opposite. I can't go into any more specifics. But I will say, I will be out of my comfort zone. And I know I need it, I really do. BUT, the struggle, I will say, is what is scaring the shit out of me. Can you feel my pain? Not same situation, but just something that is different. Something that is of the unknown? How do you deal? Do you have folks make negative comments when you share (oh I knew I forgot something on this post)? Is there a time limit to when you should follow your dreams?

What Had Happen Was...My ASS!! The Lack of Responsibility in Today's Culture

Good evening to you all... Thank you for the responses from my first blog session. As I type, I can not explain how much this means to me. I am starting to find my niche in this big shopping mall called life, and I am excited to see what sales and items I may find along the way!!! Anyways, I digress... I want to discuss something that has always bothered me ever since growing up. And I am starting to see a trend as I get older which kind of pisses me off cause people are taking advantage of others and situations because of it. Let me explain...

As I was preparing for my personal "Last day of happy hour martini's and shit A.K.A. the rapture" party, I was reading this article about 4Loco blamed in death of 15yr old boy. Now many of us who are alcohol consumers are familiar with this fruity malt beverage that is very powerful to many due to the mixture of liquor and caffeine. Many legislators have banned this product from consumption in certain states because of the incidents that have arisen from students drinking the product THE WRONG WAY. What I mean is that they have consumed so much of this drink, they black out, run butt necked (yes necked not naked), etc. But as young as I can remember, there have always been warning signs and caution notices in the media, school, bars, at your aunt's house during the summer time , and whatnot about the consumption of alcohol. There have been many people who fail to take these warnings into consideration, do some stupid Sugar Honey Iced Tea and then want to blame the manufacture for the ending result. Sadly, this story that I mentioned above ended up in death, and the parents are now suing the makers because of their "marketing tactics".  Now I do feel sorry that there has been a life that was lost but just looking at the title, can you point out what is the first thing wrong with this... (ill give you a hint... the drinking age in the U.S. is 21). And here goes my rant...

How dare you try to sue the makers of this product when your child was underage to begin with? Exactly "where they do that at"? I would think you would start off with suing the damn store that sold them (as in the victim and his friends) the drink? Lets start off with the basics. In the article (because I know a lot of yaw will not read it...SMH), the parent's lawyer is claiming because of the marketing scheme that it misleads people... the PLUCK it doesn't. Again, the drinking age is 21. Most 21yr olds can read (I would hope so). So with any product, people know what they are getting themselves into. And to blame others for the mistakes people make just burns my soul!!! And this is where this leads up to... The lack of responsibility that folks today have for their actions. Let me explain...

We all know that as humans, we are far from perfect. We are expected to make mistakes and learn from them in the process so we can do better as people and lead by example. What I don't get is why so many people make the same damn mistakes and want to blame everyone else but themselves? I can admit when I have effed up. Others can as well. But there needs to be a damn cut off line or some shit cause folks are doing the most with their screw-ups. I was talking to my homefry back at home, and she was telling me how x,y and z always asking for some damn money cause they can't manage theirs. And I don't mean like $15, $20 bucks...I'm talking damn rent money? These same people can be found later on that week on your local Facebook club page at a major metropolitan city near you. Folks, its time to own up to your shit and FIGURE IT OUT! I blame the government... yes I know, very random right. But the way that people have in the past been able to rely on government programs and NOT TRYING to do anything else for themselves starts the trend of absentee adults in society. Again, there are folks who have fallen down on their luck, and this is what federal and state programs should be for. But I know some folks on government assistance, and driving on damn 22's while I am rolling on my alloy wheels! Dem my damn taxes that got your 2011 Charger subin (as in Sub Woofers). We got folks who are defaulting on their mortgages on purpose so they can buy a new house and chunk up the deuces to other homes. People mad at their baby mothers/fathers for not being in their child's life, yet getting pregnant/impregnating the same people thinking that another child might make that person change... GTFOH (get the fudge outta here- I will use this term a lot).

What happened to holding people at a higher standard these days? Someone told me that its my fault for expecting the most out of people due to the fact, many people really ain't about Sugar Honey Iced Tea. But are we in a way allowing people who eff up royally to continue this trend? When do we start confronting people about themselves? I think that its a way of showing that you care. But I know a lot of people are just quick to give these people smog coming from the emission of your car. Its OK to execute this practice at work (well depending on where you work, cause the government...ill leave it alone). Anywho, I am too tired and tipsy from my date to continue this rant. Please let me know how you feel about people and the tolerance for people's bull s*** in their personal and professional life. And again, spread the word about the blog!!! Tootles

First Blog Post-Welcome and More

Good afternoon to all of you reading this!!! Hoping your getting everything prepared for the last day on earth as we know it (insert sarcasm)!!!

I guess this would be the part where I talk about who I am and all that jazz. But I have more pressing matters at hand. Hopefully, all of the readers will enjoy this blog and comment, give suggestions, etc. I will say that I love to talk, and I think my friends on FB was becoming sick of me with various postings so I will say what comes to mind on here...

Anywho, I would like to start off with a question. In the media lately, there are an abundance of extra-martial affairs that we seem to be bombarded informed of. And it seems that the trend is that the man (some Hollywood type cat) is discovered to be cheating on the unknowing wife. From movie stars, sports figures, politicians, etc, for every couple getting married, there is another breaking up. And while that shits sad and whatnot, its pretty much common in today's society. The latest scandal is with former California Governor and Hollywood actor The Cheatanator Arnold Schwarzenegger and Kennedy Dynasty former NBC correspondent Maria Shriver. Been married for 25 years and had some house help (she was helping quite a bit) who proved that the affectionate phrase of #hoesbewinning is true. Not only did she work for them for 20 yrs, she had a child by Arnold, had him buy a house for her and retired prior to Arnold revealing the news supposedly to Maria. And poor Maria was in shock, didn't have any knowledge of this activity and has separated from her husband. Now while this is sad, something about this sounds like some BULLSHIT. Let me explain...

Just like these big scandals (Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Newt Gingrich, etc.) happen and are circulated faster than BBQ at a block party, everyone seems to take the side of the women. Now I do not condone cheating by any means. BUT lets examine some things before we are quick to take sides:

1. Most These Women Knew That These Men Wasn't About Shit

Prior to Arnold and Maria marrying, there were accusations he was a womanizer. Whatever Tiger's ex wife's name was knew more about him that we did cause she was a nanny or something like that. Hell, I'm not sure how many women Newt was actually cheating on with his first and second wife (wait I'm lying it was with his future 3rd wife when cheated with second wife). Yaw got my drift. Too many times, either women are set on a goal that they will be able to change that man. OR he did some great showboating. Regardless, there are always signals or behavioral traits that will show that might indicate that they basically ain't about shit. I can't be any more politically correct about it. They say rumors are just that, something made up. But riddle me this, rumors usually start from some SUSPECT activity. You know believe half of what you see and nothing that you hear. But you know about the truth shall set you free... yea, being real with ones self as far as realizing that "this person (male or female) got some ain't shit characteristics" will make you seem less naive and more on your toes.

     2.  Don't You Have A Joint Bank Account-Or at Least Access To Paperwork

When Arnold brought that woman/maid/penis relieve a house, what exactly could of he had said to justify that big purchase? Yes they are millionaires and shit. But "C'mon Son"!!! And whats so cold about it is that the husband of the hired help knew damn well she didn't buy it. I know that some well off families buy nice shit for life long help, but a house... REALLY? And Maria, that wasn't a red flag?  Elin (I remember now thanks to the help of some Riesling) was so wrapped up raising those kids that she didn't mind Tiger being gone longer than expected for PGA, or whatever tournaments? SERIOUSLY? Look, IDK (I don't know) about yaw, but I love to do Sexlates (Sex + Pilates). At some point I'm gonna get a maid or family to watch my kids and surprise his ass after a tournament and attack my man (attack meaning sexually-prior to discovering he was a heaux). And I am not advocating check that phone, cause sometimes its some shit you don't wanna know or you just ain't ready for. But I know it had to be some weird text messages/phone calls at night at least once. CLEARLY, them hoes (for a better lack of terms..not heauxs, hoes) were not trained so they had to had slipped up a few times.

    3.  Woman's Intuition- Stop Ignoring it, Listen to It!

I am not about to go into some woman battle cry or start singing 4NonBlondes "Whats Up". But lets just be honest with ourselves... Every woman, black, white, bald, bleached, blind, etc. knows when something doesn't feel right. Hell, EVERYONE-Male/Female/Both/switching teams/whatever has that Keenan Ivory Waynes mailman inside of them screaming "MESSAGE". In the case of Arnold, he has been accused of improper behavior so much, he should be the poster child of "Ill Fill You Up". And what did Maria do... Stand by her husband. And you know, I have no issues with couples sticking together thru thick and thin. But you do it so many times its like a damn trend. Mia Farrow knew that Woody Allen was...hum...eccentric. Did it really take for you to discover photos, or was that the last straw? There are signs people. Attitude changes. Distance. I can go on and on (I know this from experience). So you just can't tell me that this is a blind-sight to all of these victims...really?

Personally, what I really think that happened with the Schwarzenegger-Shriver story is that the mistress/maid was tired of keeping the secret of her child's father and told Arnold that she wanted to finally tell them. I'm pretty damn sure that Maria knew (word is that the damn kid looks like him), but due to public humility wanted to keep it wrapped. Told ole girl she was done after 20 yrs and that if it got out to the public, she was throwing the deuces faster than the Lakers did to the 2011 NBA championship to the marriage. Word got out and there you have it. Whats more troublesome is that there are more mistresses coming out (which reminds me, why is it that these heauxs wait till someone else reveals their affair first...you still look slutty cause now you wanna sell your story...duh), so yaw's life was that busy that someone didn't give you a heads up? I also feel that a lot of these celebrities do the same shit. Do what you like, but the second it leaks out, were done son! Who would want to go thru a messy divorce, (depending on the person) reduced to a lower class of living, and the public all in ya beeswax?

I guess what I'm trying to say is "Stop Faking The Funk" for support from the public. Sadly our culture-well not all of us, but many- don't respect the concept of traditional marriage (I say traditional cause there are various types-we'll get into that another blog). So sorry if I say "and whats new" when I hear about another marriage ending". Hopefully things go smoothly and they remember about the kids who at the end of the day are the most important people this will effect... 

Talk to me people, let me know what your think. And thanks for reading...Tootles