Do Dreams Really Come True?

Good evening/morning everyone...

So turning 25 (haha) wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... I had a blast on the east coast for my national holiday and I don't necessarily hate  dislike work everyday. Just every 3 to 5 days. I'm still pushing thru grad school, and I am enjoying my certificate program work. I even rescued an American Eskimo from the humane shelter in Seattle. Hell, I am even working on Operation East Coast and looks like something might POP OFF! BUT... something happened this evening that has me going...

While cruising on the VH1 website looking at the cast of Love and Hip Hop, I was reading the bio's of these women. And I started to get pissed off. Why you ask? Well I will share a secret with you guys... I always envisioned myself in-front or behind the screens of entertainment. I go into Swarovski (which is my guilty pleasure) and I look at a lot of the pieces and wonder WTF designed some of this shit. Meaning I have ideas of what pieces should be. I have ideas of what people should wear depending on their body shape. Yaw see where I'm going with this. But then the practical me starts to talk...

"Cyn, you know there is a recession going on" ... "But you don't know anyone to start designing/styling/acting"... etc. And to be quite honest, I think I am capable of doing anything I want because I am just that talented. Just show me a few times and I am good to go... But is it too late for me to pursue my dreams? Should I just stick to what I know and stay working in gubment/corp America? Am I being a punk? I'm so perplexed... I guess ill go to sleep on this one. Has anyone have this same problem? Speak to me people!!!

Damn, my bday is coming up...

So I try to keep my post light right...

Well not today. I have been a lil bit of a Debbie Downer lately cause I don't have my luxury SUV, or a Boo on Occasion with the serious PIPE, and I am stuck in a job that I'm OVERLY QUALIFIED for (and not making enough $$ for it). I love my classes but I'm sick of school. And as much as I have learned to appreciate Seattle, hum yea its time for me to go somewhere else. I am in limbo and that shit sucks like an ice cube on a warm summer day that is covered with fire ants. Yea I really took it there.

 A lot of folks are probably saying "well at least you have this, etc". Yes I am very blessed on the position I am in as far as financially especially with these economic issues. But not all money is good money. I have had breakdowns lately and that ish is not healthy. I have been so perturbed that I have allowed the good sense I did have in me to be washed away.  I see certain friends that are in a better situation and I am like "well WTF"? I know, we should not compare to others, but I be damned if the shit doesn't make me feel a certain way. Like what the hell am I doing to not make it? 

So I keep talking to baby Jesus asking him to get me thru this time. I keep reading my spiritual books and I start vacation two on Monday. hopefully I feel better by next Saturday (yes that is my national holiday). If not, I will probably be on the blog drunk crying my sorrows away. Let me know readers, have you ever been in a similar position about life?